Reading all the posts on Facebook and Twitter this week about #WorldHappinessDay, I could see all the things that made others feel happy and things they felt grateful for. It’s not been a good week or so, pain-wise for me and combined with a chest infection (or pneumonia, as my Dad kept telling me!) so unfortunately, I was more down in the dumps than counting my blessings.
It’s all so frustrating….
Between bouts of coughing, I couldn’t get my head away from all the things I couldn’t do or all the things I’ve had to leave behind from my ‘old‘ life. These included not being able to get myself dressed by myself, needing help to wash, needing help to carry things everywhere and not being able to pick things up off the floor. (very frustrating as I’m the clumsiest person in the world) Most of all I wanted to walk somewhere, anywhere without pain.
Things I felt I’d lost or left behind were just silly, trivial things but so frustrating- going out by myself, meeting friends by myself, doing things spontaneously without seemingly ages of planning without having to check the accessibility first and just having a structure to the day with something worthwhile to do. Without my job I I felt that I’d lost my purpose, my worth.
It’s so easy to dwell on these and other things, easy to sit there and imagine that everyone else has an amazing life, that you’re missing out on everything and your life is pointless and worthless.
Pain has been a real issue this week, it has stopped me doing anything other than resting and keeping quiet (which hasn’t been too difficult considering the amount of extra painkillers I’ve had to take) The chest infection from the weeks before had sapped my strength and given me such extra pain from all the coughing that took me to the A&E dept with a suspected fractured rib. So, too much time to dwell on things and just to feel sorry for myself.
When this happens, it’s far too easy to sink into depression and dark thoughts, understandable maybe when you’re faced with an uncertain future and difficult pain management.
But there must be some good things, surely?
Of course there are and spending time this week reading other people’s posts and tweets and especially after reading a fellow blogger Sam at Medical Musings with Friends who wrote at length about the little things that we should be grateful for, I gave myself a metaphorical shake and made a list……
* I don’t have to get up when the alarm rings
* I don’t have to teach year 9 last lesson on a wet Friday
* I don’t have to spend all day Sunday planning/marking/preparing
* I can go on holidays outside of the school holidays at last!
* I get to enjoy a leisurely breakfast in bed every morning courtesy of my darling P
* I can take advantage of cheap ‘Early Bird‘ meal deals
* I can spend quality time with my husband and family instead of rushing around
* I can go with my sister to share her wedding dress fitting
* I can take delight in the simplest of things; the birds in the trees, the children walking past, the beautiful country views
* I can sit with a coffee and just daydream or read or listen to music, time just spent relaxing
And most of all, I can spend my time writing, something I have discovered a love for and something that gives my life a purpose and meaning and a reason to go on.
All in all, not a bad list of things that make me happy, so maybe it’s time for all of us to just stop for a moment and make a list of our own. It’s so important to keep sight of the little things ‘y pethau bychain, as we would say in Welsh and whatever your list contains, enjoy them and cherish them as they are without doubt, the things that make life worth living. ❤️
(P.s. the cover picture is a result of many hours fiddling with filters and editing, it’s amazing what you can do in those moments when I have nothing to do….. 😂)