The dreaded brown envelope is here…..

The dreaded brown envelope arrived this morning, it sat there silently, nonchalantly even and so so still. It tried to adopt a charming demeanour as if it was exactly  the same thing as the Iceland flyer, tIMG_2431he Tesco Clubcard vouchers and the handful of junk mail lying there with it. Its corner poked out as if to say “I’m here! But don’t panic, I’m just another piece of mail”

Totally unaware of the pile on the mat, I was doing my usual Monday routine – putting pre conditioner on my hair ready for the weekly struggle into the shower. I like to have that 10 minutes to myself; doing the things that all women do to try and look decent before the indignities of having to have help to wash begins.

Once it was over, P left me casually drying on the bed and went downstairs to fetch me a drink. He shouted up as he always does “postie’s been!” and brought it all up with the water. He put the pile of mail on the bed and we both spied it at the same time. A look passed between us which went beyond words – we knew that this would mean everything; that we could keep the car, that we could still have a small income and hopefully a while before we had to go through the whole debacle again.

There was no rush to open it; there was a real feeling of breathlessness and trepidation but we knew it had to be done. So I opened it…….

I read it all through

I read it aloud to P to make sure I wasn’t mistaken

I let out the breath that I’d been holding

And then smiled! It was accepted and continued for 6 years!

IMG_2414Relief is one small word for the huge feeling that we had! That means the car stays, the hoist stays, the money to pay for the petrol stays and my nervous breakdown can be delayed for now (I’ll keep it ready for the next stressful thing I think!)
So today is a good day, my pain is relatively well controlled, my body is clean and my hair looks amazing! This is definitely a day to be savoured…….!!!

4 Replies to “The dreaded brown envelope is here…..”

  1. You have put into words how far too many of us feel. I am not up for renewal for another 18 months yet my anxiety attacks have startwd and the worry of what will happen. Will i be homeless if it is withdrawn (i have had to go to private rental as the council cannot provide suitable accomodation for my conditions). My conditions have got worse and ive gained a couple of others yet this panic and fear we live daily all waiting for that brown envelope!!!


    1. Thanks Coomie, it’s always nice to know that people can empathise with these things and that you enjoyed the blog! Thanks!


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