I’m sitting here in the warmth of my caravan (more about that a little later!) looking out through the drizzle and all I can see are mountains, fields and gambolling little lambs. After a very strange few weeks, it’s good to have something positive to look at rather than the cold, untidy, dusty mess that is our bungalow at the moment during the current building works.
It only took those freezing cold weeks and me becoming virtually suicidal to make us realise that getting away from it all would be a very, very good idea indeed!
Unfortunately, we also had problems with the caravan too……
Due to that bloody ‘Beast from the East‘, the farm on which the caravan sits was almost completely devoured by snow; the caravans were covered by the drifts and of course, the focus of the farmers was to safeguard their stock, the sheep and cows. The middle of lambing season was made even more difficult by below zero temperatures and trying to get them all into the warmth of the sheds. So obviously they weren’t going to leave those behind and start ‘de-wintering’ our vans!
To be fair, they contacted us all and kept us updated with their progress – photos they sent showed us how bad the conditions really had been so we were more than happy to wait for the start of the season. Eventually, the snow melted, the drifts faded away and the flock returned to the fields so the plumbers who had so recently been dealing with frozen and burst pipes were able to attend to our caravans and get the ‘de-winterisation’ started.
Which leads us to today, where I’m sitting on a comfy chair looking out at a view which soothes my soul and lifts the gloom. It may be wet out there but the view continues to change, each scene different in its own way, the copper, green, amber, all touched with the pink of the blooms and the pure white of the lambs.
It really has lifted my spirits; to say the least I was a tad gloomy which was strange as I’ve never felt that way before. It really brought it home to me that I had to look after my mental health as well as my physical health. We had spent so long looking for a cure, a magic wand, a miracle even for my constant pain that I hadn’t even considered that my mental health would be affected.
In my previous life, I had been a teacher, a manager and a Year Tutor; all responsible roles that I relished. They needed a confident person who could handle matters in a caring but firm way and I think I did a pretty good job of it.
But things are so different now and no matter what I think, WILL NOT CHANGE – I need to recognise this properly. I have to, have to, have to let go of the former things and relish the ‘now’; to enjoy the rain on the hills, the lambs bleating for their mums, the afternoon tv dramas and the radio loudly announcing that the M62 is bumper to bumper full of people trying to getaway from work at 4.39 on a Friday. (Now I don’t miss that at all!)
What made me think differently this week?
Well, I was approached by a little girl called Leila in a supermarket on Wednesday evening. Without any shyness, she asked me “what’s that?” pointing to my powerchair. I explained that it was an electric wheelchair which helped me get around. Straight away, she responded with “ok, what’s wrong with you then?” to which I replied “one of my legs doesn’t work properly anymore so I have to use this“. After that, she asked all kinds of questions, mostly about how the chair works and proceeded to have a go at ‘driving’ it – she steered me around the aisle for a few turns before her parents said it was time to go. We said goodbye with a big smile and a wave, it really showed me that whatever happens, a giggle and fun are not disappearing and are still there for me.
In fact, I’m not sure which one of us had the most fun!
So what’s next?
So a good week and a change of scenery has led to the happier, smiling writer that sits here now. The weather is improving, the kitchen is nearly finished (apart from 2 missing doors, nothing is ever straightforward is it?) and I am looking at the world in a much better, much healthier way.
In fact, it really is quite beautiful isn’t it……………? 😘
(ps. thanks for all the good wishes and kind words after my last blog – they were all HUGELY appreciated ❤️