What is love…….??? – a Valentine’s tribute to my carer husband.

It’s an interesting question isn’t it? – “What is love….?”

So ‘Hey ho it’s Valentine’s Day‘ again and the world (ie social media) is full of hearts, flowers, chocolates and people wishing their special one a Happy Valentine’s Day. It’s everywhere, so many people saying ‘I love you’ and using this day to say how much they mean to them. 

There’ll be women posting “of course I said yes!’ posts and  photos of enormous diamond rings everywhere and an equal amount of people either cringing or wondering why it wasn’t them. 




It’s such a lovely gesture in many ways; some might say a slightly gooey and sickly one in others, from people saying that at 19, 26, 35, 47 or some such age they have found the love of their lives.




But how do you know that you’re right?


And what is love anyway? Is it all hearts and flowers on one particular day?


In my experience, especially in the last few years following my spinal fracture, it’s a teeny tiny little bit more complicated than that. It’s always the little things that strike you, the things that didn’t need to be done or the things that aren’t planned or just something they do because they care.


  • It’s the cup of coffee every morning/afternoon (depending on when I wake up 🤦‍♀️) with a slice of toast…..
  • It’s taking my boots off and rubbing my feet after a long day…….
  • It’s grinning crazily through 16 different selfies when the first one I took would’ve done……
  • It’s buying you flowers two days after Valentine’s Day because they’re reduced in the supermarket…
  • It’s buying you Tangtastics ‘cos they’re your favourite sweet…….
  • It’s cutting your toenails because you can’t reach down to your feet…….
  • It’s watching a programme about ice skating with you even though he hates ice skating and hates celebrities even more…….
  • It’s helping with ‘toilet issues‘ and making the same stupid ‘poo‘ jokes all the time…….
  • It’s just sitting with you, in silence, with their hand just brushing yours…….
  • It’s taking all the flack on a high pain day and still coming back for more……..
  • It’s sticking by your side through real problems and heartache, by asking the questions when you’re crying too hard to breathe, let alone speak, then wiping your very snotty nose once you’ve finished……..
  • It’s about being an idiot, but that’s ok ‘cos they’re your idiot…….

It’s then last year promising to love you forever in a big ceremony front of all our friends and families, even though he didn’t ‘want any fuss’

That’s love, isn’t it?

That’s what it means to me anyway…..


(Mind you, that’s not to say I wouldn’t say no to a big bunch of roses and Prosecco, a plane writing ‘I love you’ in the sky or any other such dramatic romantic gesture but really, who does that really eh……?? 😉)